How it goes
by xmarjox
Summary: Scully wants quits the XF! Mulder confronts her. She ends up spending the night at his place, will he convince her to stay?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Scully wants to quit...she tells Mulder... they fight and she ends up staying at his apartment for the night. MSR  
  
Note: This is my first fic ever... english is not my first language so excuse me if there are some grammar mistakes. Also sometimes I type horribly... Anyway...

The phone on Mulder's desk rang. Mulder continued shooting those paper balls that bothered Scully so much into the waste bakset just as if he didn't notice that the phone was ringing.  
Scully took a deep breath, and took her sight away of the computer "So, you're not going to answer Mulder?" The phone kept ringing

"Nah... If you want to answer the phone that much Scully, why don't you answer it?" He replied, never stopping his little game to piss off Scully.

"I'm trying to get some work done here Mulder." Scully said as she closed angrily her laptop.

"So am I Scully"

"You're throwing paper balls at the trash can! "

"Number one, I am not throwing balls at the trash can, I'm ttrying to get the balls into the trash can. Number two, I could be doing some X-files related work elsewhere but I am not because you came out with one of your great theories, so this is my duty now, to transport this trash into the trash can to.."

"I get it." Scully interrupted. "You're just mad at me because I developed a good scientific theory about the last case that explained not only why we discovered some rare animal features on the bodies we found but also the way they died."

The phone started ringing again. Mulder stopped throwing balls and walked towards Scully and whispered next to her ear so she could listen clearly. "I'm dissapointed because you knew you're theory wasn't true but yet you told them, you knew they we're going to buy it and the case would be closed, still I don't know why my partner, Agent Scully would do something like that just to get us out of a case." Without letting Scully say something else he answered the phone.

"Mr. Clean wants to see us in his office."

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Scully opened the door slowly and poked her head through the door "You wanted to see us Sir?"

"Yes Agent, please come on in." Skinner replied. Both agents sat on their respective chairs. "You've been working very hard. Luckily for you today I don't have any case for you. It's Friday and you're free the rest of the weekend. If something big comes of I'll be calling you, but for now you can go home and enjoy your weekend."

"Thanks Sir." Scully said with relief. Skinner noticed how Scully face changed into a more relaxed one when he told them they had the weekend off. "Can I talk to you for a moment? In private." Mulder gave Scully a weird look she couldn't read, she bit her lip and ignored Mulder's look.

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He waited outside the office for Scully. He looked around and became aware of how cold the hall was, not only the temperature but also he could feel cold energy out there, he shivered. About fifteen minutes passed. 'Why the hell I am waiting for her?' he asked himself, probably Scully was going to come out from Skinner's office ignoring that Mulder bored himself, almost to death, waiting for her because he had noticed she didn't bring her car to work and he wanted to give her a ride home or wherever she was planning to go. For a moment he hesitated about waiting for her if she wasn't even going to notice Mulder's kind gesture, but it wasn't all about being kind or polite, he didn't wanted to be alone, he needed company and not any company, but Scully's. Their relationship was so complicated he couldn't even discribe it to himself, they were always playing this game of pissing off each other that neither of them liked. Interrupting his thought the door next to him opened but he couldn't see Scully, just her small feet by the little space between the floor and the wooden door. Scully shut the door behind her and Mulder stood up infront of her to let Scully know he had been waiting for her.

"I didn't know you were outside. You wanted to talk to Skinner?" Scully said with a low voice, almost a whisper. Her eyes didn't had the sparkle they used to have.  
"Yeah, I was going to tell my friend Walter to bring some 'nachos' to our poker night, but I can tell him another time." He said to cheer her a little bit. She looked at him in the eyes and gave him a small grin. Mulder felt uncomfortable so he walked fast to the elevator, leaving Scully standing in the middle of the hallway, and pushed the elevator button. "That's where you're spending your exciting weekend off Scully?" he said to her while the elevator doors opened.

Scully sighed. "No." She walked throught the hallway into the elevator.  
All the way down to the basement she didn't say a word. Mulder whistled a strange song he was listening on the radio in the way to work. Normally Scully would have told him to shut up, but this time she didn't.

"Man, that must've been an interesting conversation you had." Mulder said opening the basement door.

"I'm sorry?" Scully said giving him that creepy look she used to give him when he said something wrong.

"Take you're stuff and let's go. I noticed you didn't bring your car sogive you a r I'm going to ide." Mulder informed her as he stood next to the door waiting, again, for Scully to pick up her things.

Scully again didn't said anything in reply to Mulder's comment, She just did exactly what Mulder said.

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"Here we are Scully."

"Thanks Mulder." Scully said without looking at him and opened the door.

Mulder grabbed Scully's arm so she could not get out the car. "Are you ok?.

"I'm fine Mulder." About 99.9 of the times Scully said 'I'm fine' she wasn't.

"Are you sure Scully? If you need anything just call me, I'll be home."

"I'm fine." Scully got out of the car into her building without looking back.

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Mulder entered to his apartment and walked through the living room, kicking off his shoes and dumping his coat to the floor, finally threwing himself to the couch exited to be home, he turned the TV on and watched a documental about the World War II that was already on.

An hour passed by, the documental was over now, he had been asleep, until someone knocking at his door woke him up, rubbing his eyes he slowly stood up from the couch to open the door, picking up his coat from the floor in the way.

Mulder opened the door and saw Scully standing there, she looked smaller than usual.

"Scully? What are you doing here?" Mulder asked as soon as he saw her.

"I'm sorry, were you asleep?" Scully asked politly.

"No." Mulder lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you." Her voice was a little shaky when she spoke.

"Sure, come on in." Scully went in and sat on the couch, meanwhile Mulder closed the door wondering what was wrong with Scully why she was acting like a robot, then he sat next to her.. waiting for her to say something but she just stared into nothing lost in her own thoughts, after a few minutes he decided to break the silence.

"What´s wrong Scully?" Mulder finally said.

"I..." She made a pause and looked at Mulder "I wanted to share with you what I said to Skinner this morning... I told him about some feelings I've been experiencing lately... and he offered me to take some time, a break from work."

"What do you mean?... I didn't know, you should've told me ..." Scully again didn't say anything, she seemed a bit dissapointed by Mulder's comment. "I mean, do whatever you need to Scully, I want you to be fine" Mulder said sweetly, holding Scully's hand.

"That´s the problem Mulder. I´m not going to be fine... You know, I always tought that I would live in a big house with a family and that I would travel the world, live a simple and calmed life as a doctor. The passion I felt for my work is just gone. I need to find something more." Mulder let go of Scully´s hand and looked away for a moment trying to understand what Scully was saying, repeting her words in his head.

After a moment he stood up from the couch and started walking around the apartment, fastening his pace more and more. Scully knew what was goin on, he was pissed at her for finally saying what she felt. "Why Scully? Why now? You've been working on this for such a long time and you want to quit this now? When we are so close to the 'truth´?!" Mulder's voice raised with every word he pronounced.

"No we're not!" Scully knew she was yelling at him, but she didn't care."This is unbelievable, you don't even care about what I'm feeling, you just care about your your damn 'truth'!" Scully's angry face changed to a small smile like she had just realized something and she calmed. "...you always did." Scully tried to stand up but Mulder grabbed her by the arms and made her sit again with him.

"I can't believe you Scully, I thought you wanted to find it as much as I do. These concernes you too, don't you want to know who did those things to you? Why you were abducted, who gave you cancer? Why.. "

"All those things happened to me because of you!" she took her hands to her face realizing what she had just said. "I'm sorry Mulder I didn't meant it that way."

"No Scully, you did." Mulder paused for a moment and looked away, reflecting about what Scully had said. An akward silence took possesion of the room. There was no way for Scully to say anything to justify what she has just said, she just waited for Mulder to react. "And you are right, everything that happened to you was my fault."

"No Mulder, I'm so sorry" She placed gently her little hand on Mulder's cheek to make sure he looked at her while she talked. "Whatever I gave up for your quest, and whatever I did for you I did it willingly and with no real regret." Scully said to him calmly.

"It seems to me like your letting go Scully, throwing everything we've been through. Maybe your just rushing things up, why don't you take Skinner's advice and go think about it for a few days"

"It's not a phase. I've felt these several times before but I let it pass, sometimes it comes a moment in one's life where one needs to make some changes and this time I'm not going to avoid it. When I was assigned to the X-files as 'Spooky's partner." she smiled." I stayed because my superiors asked me, eventually I developed some interest in you and in all of these, yes , but you need to understand Mulder."

"And why didn´t you told me before?"

"I thought I could make it work, I thought I could..." Scully stopped talking, she felt tears threatening, she knew she could not cry in front of him so she took a deep breath and composed it.

Mulder looked deep into Scully's eyes.

"Why you always have to pretend to be the strong woman? I'm sick of that, just tell me what's wrong Scully! " Mulder said to her, trying to force the real Dana to come out. "I've told you everything I feel and I let you in, and for once in my life I felt alive, you helped me let go of this pain I've been carring all my life. I can't help you now Scully if you don't let me, it's hard to talk to you behind the mask."

"I don't need help Mulder. I'm fine."

"I think that's why you are here Scully, you came here looking for help."

"Don't start with your phsychology Mulder, I just came here because I thought I needed to tell you these personally." Mulder gazed at Scully and grabbed her hand again, this time she could felt his preocupation for her in his touch. Mulder got closer to her and kissed her on the forehead, Scully couldn't resist, her eyes filled with tears. Mulder looked at her as she became so fragile infront of him, his arms holded her tightly as he pulled her against him softly. Mulder stayed on the couch holding her tightly, he didn't say a word. Lots of things were going trough his mind, after years of being together he had never had Scully tored into pieces like that infront of him, she had never asked for his comfort like she was doing it now.

Finally their eyes met. She looked so fragil that he just wanted to lay her down and kiss her, he knew she would give in to his touch but also he knew he couldn't take advantage of her defenselessstate. 'Ok, what now?' he thought. "Hey, I'm kinda' hungry, wanna order something to eat?"

Scully gave him a are-you-serious look with her wet eyes. Mulder stood up, went into what he called kitchen and return to the living room with a bunch of fast food restaurant's menus he had saved for... well, dinner. "What do you feel like eating? Chinesse, Tai, Pizza..."

"Enjoy you're dinnerMulder, I'm going home, it's late and I'm tired" Scully stood up and approached the door. "I'm sorry, maybe another time."

"Oh! Come on Scully.. It's Friday night!" Mulder said with excitement, something Scully didn't liked coming from him. "And you didn't bring your car."

"I'll take a cab." Scully looked down. "Tomorrow morning I'm going to the office to pick up what's mine and leave."

"Leave?"

"My causin's, she lives in Toronto... her husband just left her so I'm visting for a while." Scully shutted the door and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Mulder sat down looking at his precious menus for a few minutes .'Uhm... what's my food mood today?' he wondered. After several minutes of deliveration he decided to order a large pizza, he always wanted to eat all by himself an entire large pizza but he had never been able to do it, so that night sounded like the perfect time to acomplish that goal. He picked up the phone and ordered it.

After hanging up the phone he found himself sitting on his couch with nothing to do, alone, waiting for a large pizza to come knocking at his door,. 'Great!' he thought and looked around.trying to find something interesting. "I guess I'll have to invite my Friday's friends." Mulder reached out for the remote and tunned in his favorite channel, free porn.

Suddenly just when Sally and Jane where about to kiss, someone knocked the door. The pizza delivery guy knew perfectly about Mulder's... let say hobbies, so he just pushed the 'Mute' button and opened the door.

"It's me again." Scully said sweetly. "I'm sorry to bother you, stupid me left my apartment keys inside the apartament, and my cellphone run off battery, I was wondering if you could lend me your phone to call my mother." Mulder looked confused, so Scully explained. "My mom has a pair of spare keys."

"Yeah, of course." Mulder raised the arm that was holding the door opened for Scully a little bit so she could pass under it.

"Thanks, I won't take long. Just continue doing what you were doing. I know where the phone is." Scully passed through the living room next to the couch not noticing what was happening on the tv and started dialing her mother's number.

Mulder returned to where he was before Scully knocked. "Are you sure you want me to continue doing what I was doing?" Mulder said with a big mysterious smile. Scully turned around very slowly and found a dirty scene involving two women in 'action' and rolled her eyes. "Gross Mulder... just keep it on mute." she said.

"Sounds are kinda important Scully, I mean how can- "   
"Hi mom..." She interrupted Mulder's explicit explanation.  
"It's me...Dana mom... no I... I just need a favor, I need you to lend me the spare keys for my apartment I gave you two weeks ago...what do you mean?... no!, ok I'll wait..." Scully looked all around the place trying to avoid the nasty images in front of her. For once in his life Mulder wasn't really putting any attention to the movie, but he was having a blast making Scully uncomfortable.  
"You can't find them?... of course I gave them to you!... well can I stay there with you for the night?... visit? what kind of visitor? like a date?... no, I'm calling from Mulder's apartment... I'll tell him... yes I will... " Scully loked at Mulder with a fake smile "My mother says hi... " 

"Oh, tell Margaret I... " - "Whatever" Scully said before Mulder could finish his sentence.

"No mom I can't... " Scully's voice started to lower. "Ok mom, whatever... of course I am... I'll be fine, thanks anyway..." Scully hang up.

Mulder turned off the TV and pretended not to have payed attention to the conversation. "So, does she have the keys?"

"No she doesn't, apparently she lost them." Scully said while making a hand gesturetelling him to move away so she could sit on the couch.

"So why don't you stay with her?"

Scully leaned over placing her elbows on her knees and sighed. "Could you turn off that thing? She's on a date."

Mulder laughed. "What?" he continued laughing. "I didn't know your mother still dated."

"That makes two of us" Scully answered with a cute smile and helped herself to stand up with Mulder's knee. "Thanks Mulder."

Mulder stood up quickly after her. "Where are you going?" he said with a worried tone that Scully became aware of.

"Don't worry Mulder. When I get there I'm going to try to find the janitormaybe he knows how to open doors without knocking them down, that I can do myself."

Mulder wanted to offer his place so bad, he took a deep breath. "Why don't you stay... here for the night and I give you a ride tomorrow morning and help you find the janitor."

Scully looked around in hesitation.  
"Come on Scully! It's going to be fun!" Someone knocked the door. "I won't be able to eat a large pizza all by myself.".  
Scully looked down at her feet. "Mulder I don't think I should stay... " she raised her head just to find Mulder's puppy eyes looking at her.  
Ignoring Scully's answer Mulder walked pass her, opend the door and took the pizza from the delivery guy and placed it on the table, both sat on the couch. Mulder opened the box and took a huge piece from him and gave Scully a small one. First she stared at the slice of pizza on her hands as a piece of evidence, then she stared at Mulder while he ate. Mulder noticed Scully was looking at him so he putted down his pizza. "Are you ok Scully?"

"I'm fine." Scully looked down at her pizza again and started eating. It seemed that Mulder had forgotten why Scully was there in the first place and the discusion they had been in.   
'God, is he self-involved!' she thought. Scully didn't wanted to leave him but she felt like she had to. The idea of spending her life on the FBI searching for UFO's and unexistant little grey men scared her to death. She hadn't had a real date since she started working with Mulder, how could she meet someone to spent her life with and form the family she always dreamed of working in the FBI, with Mulder. Not that Mulder was a problem, as she had said to him earlier, it was her decision to work with him, she knew his reputation in the bureau, she never imagined she could get so close to him, now they have risked their lives many times to save each others. But the real problem was that work consumed her, her life was only about work, nothing more. How could she have a life outside work when she spends all day dealing with weirdos with Mulder?**  
**  
Mulder knew Scully wasn't fine, but he was trying to avoid the subject. He didn't wanted Scully to start grumbling about work, he tried to be funny and to annoy her just a little bit, but the truth was he was crushed inside, when Scully said those things to him he felt his world falling apart. She was all he had. All he wanted to have.

Scully finished her piece and leaned back placing her right hand on her stomach. "I wasn't even hungry." Scully informed him with a big smile and looking at the seeling."You know... I don't remember the last time I ate pizza."

"Yeah you changed it for yummy non-fat ice cream." he said with sarcasm after taking a humongous bite of his second slide of pizza.

"I forgot how tasty fat is."

"See? I told ya'." He bited his pizza again.

Scully straightened with difficulty. "Says the sunflower seeds man?" 

"Take the bed, I rather sleep in the couch to be honest." Mulder said out of nowhere. She looked up at him, as if to see if his offer was genuine, then relented, smiling gingerly "Are you sure?"

"It's all yours." He turned around and found her with no shoes on. "The heels were kelling me" She explained.

"Yeah, I hate heels too." Mulder answered. "Just let me grab sheets from my closet."  
Scully didn't say anything, she just stared at Mulder who was standing infront of her. "What?" Mulder finally asked.

Scully opened her mouth to say something but she didn't, her mouth kept open, finally she spoke. "I'm surprised. You?... you have an extra pair of sheets? In a closet? In a bedroom, in you bedroom?" Scully advanced towards Mulder and took him by the arm, then whispered. "Twilight Zone"

Mulder felt the air coming out of her mouth and nose caresing his cheek.  
"Very funny." he said with a big smile as he walked past her into the bedroom, she followed him.  
Scully lay down on Mulder's bed directing her sight towards him. Mulder opened the closet and pulled a blue old blanket from between his clothes on the top shelf, desarenging everything else in the way, his closet was a mess. Scully watched with angst as pieces of clothing fell down in his face.

"A blanket?" She said and closed her eyes.

"I don't need more." He said as he made his way out of the room. "Good night Scully." His voice sounded warmer than normal. Before Scully could say anything back he closed the door shut. 


	3. Chapter 3

Mulder sat down on the couch, unfolded the blanket and rapped himself in it. He tried to lay down and sleep but it was freezing out there, his eyes traveled around the room. Thoughts invaded his mind. He was about to loose Scully, to loose her forever. 'She's going to change her mind.' he said to himself. 'But what is she doesn't?'. He stood up in desperation. He became aware of how boring his life was before meeting Scully, how senseless everything looked without her. His day was all about dealing with crazy poeple wanting revenge and geeks with computers, going to work with poeple who looked at him as if he had some mental problem, then... going home alone.  
He didn't wanted to be left alone, Scully had brought light in his life, she trusted him, he helped him, he cared about him. She was more than a partner for him, she was his everything, if she didn't wanted to stay, if her work life was making her unhappy, then... he wasn't going to force her. 

Even thought she was so tired she couldn't sleep, she stood up and wandered around the room. In a moment of silence she heard Mulder's pace back and forward, back and forward. Scully approached the door and opened it carefully so Mulder couldn't listen. 

"I thought you were asleep Scully." A cold voice came from behind the door.

"God it's freezing out here." Scully said as she crossed her arms and shrugged. "I thought you were asleep too but then I heard you walking around." She looked up to find Mulder's eyes. "Mulder you're shivering." 

"No I am not." Mulder looked down at himself. "Ok... Maybe a little." He said to let Scully know that the cold wasn't bothering him even thought it was.

"Mulder do you..."

"Do I...?" Scully didn't move. "want to dace?" Jhe continued shivering. 

"I was just... " She shook her head "This was a bad idea, you should be sleeping in your room. I guess there's plenty of space in there for at least 4 people." she said very confident and with no expresion in her face  
"Are you coming on to me Scully?." Mulder raised an eyebrow.

"You wished." She said with her i-dont-like-those-jokes face. "I was just saying that it's cold out here and you are rapped in a sheet, so it's reasonable if you want to sleep in your own bed."

Scully went back into the room and layed down, covering herself with the covertor. Suddenly she heard a bunch of trees outside Mulder's apartment hitting windows and bangingwith strenght followed by a noisy lightening The door of the room opened violently.

"That scared the hell out of me!" Mulder said and closed the door as fast as he could, shivering he ran all the way to the other side of the bed and laid next to Scully.

"Keep your distance Mulder." She sounded threatening.

"You know what works when you are really cold? Being naked inside a sleeping back with somebody that's naked to."

"We had this conversation before Mulder."

"Well we should try it."

"Don't worry. I'll tell you everything about it when I do."  
"At least I'm no longer cold." Mulder turned around.

"Good." she said.

Mulder turned again"I'm not tired."  
" I don't think that's good." Scully answered, she wasn't tired either.

"It would be if we were having a sulumber party."

Scully didn't bother to answer that.

Mulder crawled around until he invaded Scully's side of the bed, forcing her to straighten up.  
"What are you doing?" She sounded annoyed. Mulder took her hands sweetly. "Scully... don't leave me" Scully's look went down. Again, Mulder got no answer.  
"Look at me when I tell you not to leave... How long have you been thinking about it?"

"I don't know." Scully hesitated. "A few months."

"Months? And why didn't you tell me? Am I even important to you?"

"You really think that's the reason?" Scully let go of his hands, she felt anger rushing through her body.

"That's what it seems like to me"

"I cannot believe it... "

"Fine. Then why didn't you tell me?!" Mulder raised his voice.

"It's hard Mulder!" Scully's eyes filled with tears."You are the only reason why I continued working in the X- Files these last months. I can't even explain how hard this is, when I think about not seeing you every single day it makes me want to stay, and I know I don't want to... I need to get away. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

Mulder sighed "It's not your fault. I'm sorry I put you through all of these... pain"

"Don't apologise." Softly Scully touched Mulder's cheek. Mulder felt butterflies in his stomach, he felt so stupid. Somehow he started to get closer and closer, she felt him approaching. Finally she closed her eyes and felt his warm lip touching hers. Thoughts about what to do next started to fill her head, she never knew she could feel like this. She knew what she wanted to do, but didn't know what was the right thing to do.

Mulder knew perfectly what he wanted but he felt Scully's hesitation as her lips tensed He wanted to believe Scully wanted the same thing, but she needed time. Mulder let go a soft laugh, but there was no joy in it and cursed himself for kissing her. "Sorry. I guess this is not what you want either."

"No." She whispered. and broke the eye contact. Mulder's gaze turned away from her.

Scully looked at him. 'How could I? What's wrong?´she thought. He was her reason, he was the strenght that kept her walking, he was her hope, she wanted to feel him, she needed to feel him. They had been trought a lot together, heaven and hell, laughed together, cried togetherfought together, hugged each other, conforted each other.

"No." Scully said again. This time her wet lips touched Mulder's. Mulder open her mouth just a bit and gave her a long sweet kiss pulling her against him, his lips felt soft and gentle. She felt him leaning into her, her mouth reaching up to stay with his as there was a huge difference of height between them. Cautiosly he started umbottoning her blouse. He wanted to lay her down but there was still some doubt in his mind. He pulled away gently and looked into her eyes.  
"Are you sure you want this?". Scully responded taking one of his hands and placing it on her chest. "Do you? You can stop this any moment you want." he whispered. Scully nodded.

He kissed her again and laid her down over the bed while pushing her shirt off her shoulders. His hands slipped inside her shirt. They could feel each other fear and excitement, they had wanted this for so long but something had stopped them. Scully was losing her usual control of herself.  
Mulder knew it wasn't a good time to talk but he was bursting with the need to tell her how much she meant to him and how amazing he was finding that moment, how wonderful was to be with her.

With this kind of thoughts and sweet loving sex they continued until they felt asleep holding each other.

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He sat with just boxers on at the side of the bed, next to her. She had barely moved since he had slipped from her arms. He had been sitting there for half and hour thinking about it, he just couldn't believe they had really had sex. Memories of the night seemed like a dream he once had. Yes, he once dreamt about having sex with Scully but he kept it for himself because even thought the dream was sweet and well-intentioned it would've sounded sick to Scully.

Mulder stood so we could get a better view of her. It was real, eveything was real. He watched her features in amusement, picked up his clothes and walked quietly from the room ready to take a bath.

Scully stirred when she heard noises outside the room and slowly opened her eyes. She look at the bed and then wandered around shaking herself out of her dream state and noticing the only clothes on the floor were hers. She climbed out of bed and put her clothes on, then opened the door founding Mulder all wet from his shower and making breakfast, well... serving cereal.   
"Good morining Scully." He said with a big smile. Mulder didn't seem like him, he was so...happy, incredibly happy.

"Good morning... Mulder?"

"I don't know what you usually eat for breakfast but I can offer you a great variety of cereals."

"Don't worry I'm ok... argh" She looked down and examined herself. "Can I use your shower?"

Mulder indicated Scully she could use with liberty his shower.

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Scully stood under the shower. She and Mulder had spent the night together. What would happen now? The experience of lovemaking was something she thought would never happen between them. She thought she was only a good friend to Mulder and nothing more, that's why she never said or insinuated anything. "I cannot believe it." She said to herself. "Am I loosing my mind?" she stopped. "Of course Dana, you're talking to yourself."

She marched out of the bathroom, dryied her body and put on the same clothes she was wearing the day before.

"Ok I'm ready." Mulder heard Scully coming out of the bathroom. "It's late so, instead of going home can you take me to the office first?"

Mulder stared at her in surprise. Silence again  
"Are you ok Mulder?".

"I'm ok... let me just grab..." Mulder went inside the room and closed the door shut behind him, he had nothing to grab there... How could he forget she was leaving? Why was she doing this to him? after that wonderful night... he felt his world crash down. 


	4. Chapter 4

Note: Again I'm so sorry about the typos and everything. It's almost 5am and I haven't slept, I hope you like this small chapter... Oh, and thanks for the reviews guys.  
I do not own aaaaaanything

The road was getting blurry and Mulder was starting to feel dizzy. He was washed away by his emotions, The incredibly night they had spent together seemed now like a nightmare.  
He spent half the way biting his tongue so he wouldn't just say what was really on his mind. He still could smell the scent of lavander coming out of her hair. How long had he been feeling like this? When had this all started? And when was it going to end?

He glancing at her face while the red light. She looked like she hadn't even realized he was there.

"Could we stop to get some coffee? I really need coffee." She interrupted his thoughts.

Her voice cought him off-guard. "You said it's late so we better rush. " He had responded more violently than he intended. Scully felt his words were trying to hurt her. 'My office? What the hell was he trying to say?' she said to herself as she glared at him.

"It's just coffee, I'm not asking you to go to Colombia and prepare me a latte."

"Maybe later Dana." Unconciously Mulder had chosen to be hard with her, to blame her for everything, for all the feelings he had for her, he had chosen anger over all the other feelings he could've expressed to her right there. He was angry at her.

Scully turned her head and looked at the window. She was one of those people who could tell you something without saying anything.  
'Dana?' He rarely called her Dana, she couldn't even remember when he had called her 'Dana'. Those four letters kept coming to her mind 'Dana Dana Dana...'.

Mulder walked towards the elevator playing with the car keys, Scully behind him trying to follow his pace. He opened the basement door for Scully, she looked at Mulder for a moment trying to figure out the look on his face, he looked away instead.  
She slowly walked in and grabbed an old empty box they had kept under the desk for years and never used.

"Whoa!? You didn't bring your own box?" Mulder's voice came from outside.

"This one's empty, we never use it." Scully replied.

"I use it."

"You use it?"

"Yep"

"What use exactly do you give to this empty box?"

"Well..," Mulder scratched his head. "To keep stuff and... you know, a normal use. I'm sorry if I didn't keep a spare box in case someone wanted to quit."

Scully sighed and sobbed her temples. "I can't believe you. I'll get you another one."

Mulder thought about a proper answer for a moment."Fine. You owe me one."

She dropped the box on the desk.

"What the hell is wrong with you Mulder?" She finally snap. She've had enough.He always tried to shut her away and use his sarcasm to piss her off. Because I don't understand. Are you mentally ill? Do you have some kind of personality dissorder of some sort I don't know of?"

"Right back at you!"

"Why are you treating me like this... I don't undestand, what on earth could I've done to you to upset you like this!"

"I'm not the one with a problem here Scully, who's the one acting like if everything was ok?"

"It isn't!? I thought you were ok with it" She dodn't wait for Mulder to respond. "We had a incredible night together, or at least I thought so. Correct me if I'm mistaken Mulder, but I think we both wanted it to happen, what's not ok about that?"

He interrupts her throwing the car keys down on the desk. "Take the car. I'll pick it up later just leave the keys inside."

He was gone before Scully could answer.

Scully crossed her arms and leaned over the table, tears started running through her cheeks. She had two options, two different paths, the first one offered her a new life. She felt there was something more waiting for her, something to give her life meaning. For some reason she linked the idea of working in the FBI with the idea of never moving on, staying still the rest of her life.  
In her life she'd done so many things that weren't exactly good for her.  
'Mulder' she whispered. 'What about Mulder?'

Scully raised her head with a sigh and dried her wet cheeks with one of her sleeves. After what feelt like an eternity, her tears finally stop.

**  
TBC...**


	5. Chapter 5

(Whatever typos, grammars you find, I'm sorry.)  
Sorry about the small chapter, it's been a busy week but I'm tryin to update ASAP... hope you like it.

Scully stood up from her wretched position and scanned the room, seeking for something. Her eyes found a bunch of pencils she once had tied up with an old red rubber band and grinned at the quick memory of two pencils dropping into Mulder's lap, she remembered looking up to the ceiling and seeing scores of pencils stucked in it and the next day, while Mulder was with Skinner, she crawled under and behind the desk to recover years of pencils falling from the ceiling.  
Not satisfied, she scanned the room again. Nothing in there really belonged to her, yet she felt so connected to the room.

She took a deep breath and shifted her gaze to the door hoping to find Mulder waiting for her. She was used to the little flip in her stomach everytime he did that. But Mulder wasn't there. And left the room ´Well, keep your box then' she muttered while closing the door.  
Scully made her way towards Mulder's parking space. Just when she was about to open the front seat door she found a note on the car's windshield.  
_  
'It's hard to be the reason why you are standing still, I wish I could say the right words to make you feel better and solve everything, but I can't. I wish I could protect you so no one could ever hurt you, but I can't. I could promise you everything you've ever wanted, but I can't. And now I understand I'm just standing in the way. Maybe you're right, sleeping together was the best way to say goodbye.'_

She held her breath as she pulled the door open. The last thing she expected for Mulder was to understand her. 'Is the note sincere?' She asked herself while driving to her place, not paying attention to the road. 'What if Mulder was trying to use some kind of reversed psychology to make me feel guilty?' she thought. She forced her thoughts from where they shouldn't be, on Mulder. But below the anger she felt for him was pain. She'd thought he knew her so well, but he had no idea of the depth of her feelings for him. He didn't understand that for her there could never be anyone else like him. Her misery was compounded by the memory of waking up in his bed that morning, her hands on his chest. Still, she was making the right decision, they both needed to move on with their lives, separatedly. 'Right?' she added doubtful.  
He dominated her life, completed it. A part of her feared that if she were to love him she would be giving herself over completely, that he might swallow her whole, until she was just an attachment of Mulder, loosing Dana Scully, Dana Scully's dreams.  
She parked the car right infront of her building so Mulder could locate it easily. She took some time to erase that night's memorys before tossing the car keys under the driver's seat and locking the car, just as he ordered.

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His life passed him by, his life since the time Scully entered into his life, knocking at the door. He never actually said 'come in' but she did anyway. She opened the door to see his sitting at his desk. He looked at her _'Agent Dana Scully' _Her look held him captive. _'I'm looking forward to working with you' _she said next. He read in her face she really wasn't looking foward to work with him, no one was. All the time she kept pretending and at the end she just couldn't hide.  
Mulder had been staring at the window, lost in reverie for more than an hour. He suddenly snap out of his dreams finding himself alone, in reality. Mulder wished he could go to sleep and wake up with Scully lying next to himHe buried his head in his hands realizing he was just torturing himself and he had to stop thinking everything was his fault, she had made a selfish decision and he was paying for it, dying inside little by little, but how could he stop? It wasn't her fault either.  
At the end he just wanted her o be happy, regardless of weather she was with him or not.  
He felt nauseous and tears threatened, but he knew he should not cry. With difficulty he managed to commute from the couch to the bed. Sleeping was the only way to stop thinking about her. Mulder stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed and ordered himself not to dream about her.

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Dana Scully opened the door to her apartment while letting out a big yawn. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Thinking if she looked as tired as she felt, she hadn't slept very well with Mulder moving all around the bed.  
Scully began thinking about their conversation that morning, the limited words. What had they actually agreed? That they both wanted last night to be a one time event, a closure?  
It was amazing how being close to death gave her a whole different perspective of life, she wasn't living the life she had always planned for her. If she had died in that hospital, she would've died unhappy, dissatisfied.  
Scully stepped into the shower hoping she could recover from her sleepless night. The hot steam entered her nose and caressed her skin, calming her mind.  
After getting out of the shower feeling better, Scully wrapped herself in a towel and walked out of the bathroom into her room.  
She knelt to pick up the coat she had violently dropped by the closet, underneath she found a small piece of paper folded in half. Mulder's note. She sat on the floor taking her knees to her chest and read the note again... and again, and again.  
She wanted to see those eyes one more time, to feel his touch one more time. She sobbed her temples and convinced herself she was doing the right thing.  
The phone rang, she jumped at the sudden noise interrupting her thoughts.

"Yes?" she answered,  
"So you're really going huh?" Mulder's asked.  
"Yes I am."  
"Cool." He aswered.  
Scully kept silent, expecting Mulder to ask something else. Mulder kept silent expecting Scully to comment something.  
"Why did you call Mulder?" Mulder caught a hint of sadness in her voice.  
"I want you to be happy Scully. I really hope you are. Do the things that you always wanted to. You meant the world to me Scully." He paused and his voice lowered in volume as he added. "We are going to be ok." He sounded convincing.  
"Thank you Mulder. I really appreciate your words. I know you'll be ok."  
"Take care Scully" Before Scully could answer, he hung up the phone.  
In that exact moment it hit her. This was really the end.

**TBC...**

Reviews are very appreciated :P


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Scully and Mulder do not belong to me..

Note: Again 5 am. I reaaally hope you like it... once more I'm truly soooorry if you find some of my scarce typos or grammar mistakes. Fortunately I'm human.. (

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Mulder nodded while Skinner informed him about the next case, where he needed to go and who he needed to talk to. He tried to make sense of the medical reports reading through the case file acting like it was the most fascinating document in the world. However, the truth was he wasn't even interested anymore.

"This is not an X-file." Mulder stated while giving the file back to Skinner.

Skinner settled back crossing his arms across his chest. "Listen Mulder." He sighed. "We are worried about your performance in the bureau, specially on the X-files. The transition from having a reliable partner like Agent Scully into suddenly working by yourself has brought in questions about your work and weather or not you'll be able to continue with it. To be honest Mulder, I'm not sure if you are going to be able to handle the X-files without losing control."

Mulder looked down to his lap with a grim expression on his face and then looked back to Skinner. "I may have gone a bit overboard in the last case but that had nothing to do with Agent Scully's absence." Mulder eyes narrow. "Go straight to the point Skinner, why are you trying to say?" He asked, somehow already knowing the answer, but trying not to believe it.

Skinner sighed. "Take a week off Mulder." Mulder opened his mouth to speak, Skinner noticed Mulder didn't look pleased so he continued. "And it's not a negotiation. I don't care if you don't want to, I've had enough. I'm ordering you to take a week off , clear your head. And you better be back." He stood up to his full height and pointed his finger at Mulder. "And you better be back with an acceptable reason explaining why you should keep the X-files. I'm not covering your ass again Agent."

Mulder felt relieved but decided to pretend resignation, shrugging upset he left the office with a strong pace. He wanted Skinner to believe he was following his orders and taking that week off unwillingly.

There were so many things going in and out of his head while driving back to his place after being sent home by Skinner for a whole week. Everything was his fault.

He felt lonely that night, that's why he didn't tell Scully he had a copy of her apartment keys under the TV cabinet. He wasn't sure if Scully felt lonely, but there was no doubt she was alone. There was no reason for them to be alone that night so he kept quiet knowing for sure that eventually Scully would remember, leaving him alone again, but she didn't.

Mulder remembered the morning after the day she left, four days after spending the night with her, he visited Scully's apartment. Everything was still there. Her books, her stereo, even her family album, the comfortable couch which he always crashed while Scully went to her room and change clothes, and even that horrible painting she loved was still there. He entered her room, the bed with white discreet sheets was still neatly made and he couldn't resist collapsing onto it. Everything he touched smelled like her and for a moment he sensed Scully's presence and felt the rush to sneak out so she wouldn't catch him snooping around. It was only after studying her closet that the feeling was gone, her clothes and shoes were missing. 'I'm such a self-centered bastard' he had kept repeating in his head since that day.

It had been two weeks since he kissed her goodbye. No letter, no phone call, not even an e-mail. It was she never existed.

After circling his neighborhood for about half an hour, he determined it was time to make another visit to Scully's apartment, curious to know if her things were still there, if her fragrance remained. He pulled his car up in front of Scully's apartment building and cut the engine. He rolled her eyes for himself, knowing his actions were pathetic.

There he was, standing in front a place full with memories he didn't wanted to revive, but he didn't wanted to forget either. He looked back at the stairs questioning his reasons to be there.

Shifting his gaze from the hallway and reaching into his left pocket for the key, he opened the door.

Immobilized by the flawlessness of the room he took a deep breath, everything was in the same place, the same way he had left.

Suddenly he heard a crunching sound. Someone walking. Mulder panicked.

She came out of the room next to the living room and walked towards him. He looked straight at her, but she never looked up at him. Her red hair was falling in wisps on her right side and behind her ear on the left side, she was wearing loose pants and a tight black top. He felt a rush of anger coming over him. 'What the hell is she doing here?' He just wanted to kiss her and hold her in his arms. 'I've been abandoned by her, someone I trusted and I am about to loose all I have left, the X-files, and I want to hug her? I should tell her what I've been through!' he scolded himself mentally.

Scully stopped walking across the room when she reached the couch.

"Scully?" He asked with a mixture of concern and anger, loosing all patience.

"And then there's you. You, who I can't live without, who I was so afraid of losing or destroying that I ended up doing that to myself. I blame you." She mumbled.

"What... What...?" Was all Mulder could say. He knew what he wanted to say to her but his ability to form complete sentences seemed to vanish in the air at that precise moment.

Scully turned around to face him "Toronto was great. The next day after I arrived I received a job offer in the local hospital, lovely place filled with really nice doctors." Scully giggled. "Marie's house was immense, I had to walk across a big garden to get to the dinning room. She lives a perfect life." Scully's smile faded, tears started falling from her eyes.

Mulder kept silent not knowing what to say. Was this really happening? He still wanted to tell her how selfish he had been, how many nights he had spent awake thinking about her and blaming himself for her misery.

"I wanted all those things, at least that's what I thought. But Mulder..." Scully gasped, tears coming out stronger. "While I was there, all I wanted was you..." She trails off, lowering her gaze to the floor. Finally recovering from the shock, Mulder walked around the couch that separated them and laced his fingers with hers and grasped his hand tightly as she desperately tried to hold on to what little control she had left. Scully closed her eyes 'What should I tell him? How can I explain to him how I feel?' She was unused to speaking from her heart, always afraid of sharing her feelings.

"Don't..." Mulder whispered, answering her unspoken question surprisingly. "I know Scully."

Their eyes met. He pulled her against him and their lips gently. He was filled with a sudden panic of being rejected but then he felt her lips participating. He suddenly remembered why they had been fighting about. The things she said to him. Scully saw the look on his face and pulled away.

Mulder sighed. "I don't want you to do this because you are confused... or suffering. I don't want to wake up alone the next morning..."

"I did left, but I wasn't really gone Mulder." She told him tenderly.

"Wait... when did you return from Toronto?" Mulder gave her a questioning look.

"...Toronto?" She joked and giggled, but Mulder didn't look amused. "Today Mulder. I was thinking carefully what to say to you when suddenly you appeared in my apartment. And by the way, I want my key back." She smiled at him.

There was no need for words. He caressed Scully's cheeks and kissed her mouth softly. Then he put a hand under each of her arms and lifted her off the couch. She slid her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist to stop from falling as he walked into her room.

He laid her on the bed and took a moment to admire her beauty, then started kissing down her neck undressing her on the way.

**The End  
**

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Hope you liked it, If you did please leave me one... thanks


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